there's so much love clenched within our fists.

 it's been close to 3 months since i left Singapore for Hong Kong.


i'm very sure that i don't miss the place at all. Singapore was always a place that was too boring for me.  you hear me complain many times that i hate crowds, yet i don't mind the crowds here because i feel that there's some sort of vibrancy, an energy not found back home. to me, the people here matter more than those in SIngapore. it's like, back home i couldnt give a shit about strangers. but here, i'm looking at hairstyles, their clothes, their handbags, the makeup, the way they walk, their purchases. 


Hong Kong's really a place filled of life. but Singapore's just so bland, like porridge without any side dishes.


i've chosen to be a small fish in the big pond.

 this is f*&$#ing stupid cus i can't even tweet on Twitter anymore. i've run out of space to run away to, so i'm back to blogging.

i'm gonna list out some feelings that are in my chest right now:


1. i am tired.
2. i am sad.
3. i am disappointed with myself.
4. i think i'm gonna be single for the rest of my life if this streak continues.
5. thank God i'm leaving this country for 4 years.
6. right now i feel like i don't ever want to come back to Singapore.
7. if i love children so much, maybe the only way i'll ever have one is via adpotion.
8. life isn't fair.
9. what's the use of praying, doing good things for others and trying to be positive all the time when life slaps you in the face?
10. i'm sorry i killed our friendship.

but i don't regret any of it.

 what's the use of praying?

i'm gonna lie in bed for the next few hours, thinking about you. 


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saying those three words was so easy for me. and i hoped it was that easy for you too.

mmm, i'm thinking of closing this livejournal account. i know i haven't been updating regularly, but everytime i refreshed my blog's webpage, i'll see the photo of The Rev which i posted previously and my hearts aches just a little more.

good news is, i plan to continue ranting on and on, but it'll be on skklexie.wordpress.com


maybe i'll just leave this blog here for now. 

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like i mentioned in the latest update in my wordpress blog, many things have happened over the weeks i've not blogged. it's been one hell of a roller coaster ride, i can assure you. the issue that's weighing most heavily in my mind is my university applications, and i haven't stopped talking about that since last november.


i really do hope that i get accepted in Hong Kong; then i'll be far far away from this place. i just want to start afresh somewhere, and though i know the first few months won't be that easy, i know i'll be able to cope somehow. it's like forcing myself to grow up in a strange land where people shout loudly all the time even though they are face-to-face. in the strange land where dim sums were twice the size of their singaporean cousins (did i tell you about the "har gao" i ate? it had three prawns in it!). in the strange land where i won't be able to cab anymore, cus public transport is waaaaaay more efficient.


something's that really helped me get by is listening to Buddha Bar, i always feel more refreshed after listening to a few tracks on random. thanks @xalvadora for introducing me to this genre!


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this is the season of Lent. i wonder why they call it so?

dearest Jimmy,

i'm pretty much sure that you'll never get to read this, nor receive it in Heaven as this is sorta like a virtual prayer. but your music has influenced the likes of me in Asia and i'm pretty sure your lyrics about necrophilia and hell has also touched people from all over the world. 

now that you've left us, i'm not really sure how Avenged Sevenfold is gonna progress without you. you're seriously one of the coolest and talented drummers i've ever seen play and i doubt there's anyone that can replace you. imho, i feel that Sevenfold should disband cus it won't be A7X without you. They can all go join Slash and form a new band. but jimmy, only you can make A7X songs work cus your life flowed through the beat of the songs.

i wanted to pose the most fucked-up photo of you i could find on Google Images, and i think this one would do you justice.  now, my thoughts on getting a DeathBat tattoo has intensified cus that's how i think i can celebrate your life best. to wear a perpetual badge to represent the band with such a huge influence on my life. the next chance i get, i'll burn the t shirt i wore to the concert i went last year. take it as a late throwing-to-the-stage gift, jimmy. in more ways than one, you were a hero to me.



Your Loyal fan,
Alex.

today i got to know a girl better, and yeah it was really exhilarating! man, we spent so much time at the beach talking about stuff on a breakwater near the McDonald's and we also screamed out to the open sea and some people joined in as well and it was hilarious! i got sunburnt though.


later, stitch and myself made our ways down to McDonald's for lunch and although she ordered a McNugget Happy Meal while i ordered a double cheeseburger meal with upsize, i finished my meal faster than she did cus she was telling me all these stories about drama, life in a VJC treehouse, South Africa, Australia and whatnots. my mind had to work twice as fast to catch up with her speech and it was like a rush of blood to the head.

after that, we took a bus down to parkway parade to get some frozen yogurt and we spent about an hour there and i was like dropping bits of yogurt all over the table HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH.


then we walked the entire of the shopping mall and bought some jelly worms from Marks & Spencer. all in all, the day out was mind-blowing and damn we gotta do something like that more often!


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over the last few weeks i went back to Hong Kong for a holiday, sang with the combined choir during midnight mass on christmas eve in holy fam, celebrated christmas over at mark's house, and of course i did some shopping like getting three novels for myself at Times in Tampines 1.

with relations to work-wise, let's pray tmr would be the bearer of good news for the new Admin Support assistant which is yours truly.

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it was my first time ever at Everything With Fries yesterday. i was glad that the weather cleared up in time, right after i braved through the rain to holy fam though! then i camped outsde 3 Sea and steph and co kept me company.


it was also my first time at christmas choir practice, and it was fun on the whole. at first i couldnt hear the tenor's part at all cus there were so many different versions coming from all around me and that made the scores pretty much redundant. then i sat with the guys from G2 and i could pick up my parts easier then.


tammy's right, i did feel better after singing with new people. or singing at all. it felt like as if i accomplished some thing special. must be the festive season getting into my head.


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i need to find something new to do, pretty bored with my current life already. needa do something 'drastic' in a sense. too bad my mum gave our electronic piano away to one of her friends, now i'll never be able to play a musical instrument!

there's this really awesome cake being sold at Mad Jack's in Simpang Bedok and it's full of chocolate.if only i could remember its name.... oh well, my dad bought the entire cake and its now sitting in the fridge! whoohoo.


so we were at the supermarket just now and they were blaring christmas carols over the PA system and i felt this tingling going down my body. i couldn't help but sing along when The First Noel played.


really thankful for friends like @xprecipice and @jeremyzhong and @xalvadora, the people who're constantly in touch with me 7 days a week. if not for @xprecipice, i would've never started on the Call of Duty franchise. man i love killing stuff/people. i think that game is a great bland of Army of Two and Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter 2. now, Halo 3: ODST pales in comparison with relations to game mechanics.


now, games on the Xbox 360 are what's keeping me occupied. how long more am i gonna sit on it?


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btw, i think that Taylor Lautner who played Jacob Black in the Twilight movies is the star of New Moon. i think he really played his character well and he's prolly closest to character as what Stephanie Mayer envisioned. but of course, my heart belongs to Ashley Greene cus of her pixie hair.

back are the times where i would stay at home, do a little bit of cleaning and then i would take more than one nap.


so once i'm done posting this, i'll go take a shower and then i'll hit the pillow soon after.


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in other news, i am doing fine.


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in other other news, i could've been better.